Newsletter: June 1999

June. 

It’s a lovely name for a month, isn’t it? Some things are already blooming
in the garden. The children are nearly finished with school (and what do
they play as soon as school ends? They play “school”! Hard to figure.)
Thoughts of Little Leagues and vacations and beaches come to our minds.
It’s far too nice outside to write a thought provoking article today. So I
will pass on this interesting little tidbit called “Worth” from Edelman
Financial Services Inc. AND, for those of you who never read it, an
incredible article from the late and treasured Erma Bombeck.

Happy Summer!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                                                             WORTH
Your Mother may be priceless to you, but in today's job market she's worth
over $500,000 per year, according to an Edelman Financial Services Inc.
study of the many possible occupations that a typical mother might hold
during the year.

The EFS study looked at salary data supplied by the U.S. Bureau of Labor
Statistics, trade groups, and human resource and staffing firms. Edelman
Financial established criteria and determined what the median yearly
salary would be for a multi-tasking mother asked to:

. raise children
. cook meals
. keep house
. care for pets
. dispense medication and nursing care
. attend meetings and functions
. manage family finances
. provide transportation
. assist with homework
. listen to and resolve family problems
. keep family on schedule
. maintain family order and harmony

Based on 17 key occupations, Edelman Financial estimated that a mother's
worth is approximately $508,700 per year, or almost $42,400 per month.

The 17 key occupations that mothers typically perform, with their median
yearly salaries, are:

Animal Caretaker $17,500
Executive Chef $40,000
Computer Systems Analyst $44,000
Financial Manager $39,000
Food/Beverage Service Worker $20,000
General Office Clerk $19,000
Registered Nurse $35,000
Management Analyst $41,000
Child Care Worker $13,000
Housekeeper $ 9,000
Psychologist $29,000
Bus Driver $32,400
Elementary School Principal $58,600
Dietitians/Nutritionists $41,600
Property Manager $22,600
Social Worker $30,000
Recreation Worker $15,500

"Edelman Financial is attempting to quantify what the true market value of
a mother's worth is in today's economy," said Ric Edelman, chairman of his
full-service financial planning company. "Of course, no one can place a
value on the love and affection that mothers give to their families," he
said. But since a mother wears many hats and is on duty 24-hours-a-day, we
decided that a typical mother deserves a full-time yearly salary for all
17 key occupational positions." Edelman noted that these figures should be
higher, because they do not include the retirement, health and insurance
benefits that workers in
these positions typically receive.

"So if you haven't given much thought to the benefits of having a mom,
try finding the money you'd need to pay someone to do everything that she
does," Edelman said. "You don't have enough money to hire a mom as good as
yours -- and from that perspective, our mothers are indeed priceless."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found this nice newsletter you might want to check out. It’s called “The
Wise Mother”....
(From the Publisher) The Wise Mother newsletter is created on my computer
which sits on a desk covered with cloth diapers I need to put away, baby
books, sticky finger prints and a dog by my feet, in
my overcrowded family bedroom while my toddler takes his nap. 
The letter of instinctual parenting - The Wise Mother - Six issues per
year - $8.00 US funds. Send to; The Wise Mother 1185 W. Meadow Stream Rd.
West Valley City, Utah 84119. You can write the owner, Karen, at
[email protected]  for more information.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And here is the inimitable Erma Bombeck’s Mother’s Day column:

Dear Mother,

When the Good Lord was creating mothers He was into His 6th day of
"overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of
fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specification on this order?"

"She has to be completely washable but not plastic"
"Have 180 movable parts . . . all replaceable"
"Run on black coffee and leftovers"
"Have a lap the disappears when she stands up"
"A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love
affair"
"And 6 pairs of hands"

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "6 pairs of hands....no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me the problems," said the Lord,
"It's the three pairs of eyes that Mothers have to have."

"That's in the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks
'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. 

Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what
she has to know, and of course the ones here in front so
that she can look at a child when he goofs and say, 'I understand and I
love you' without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "come to bed. Tomorrow
. . . "

"I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so close to
myself. Already I have one that heals herself when she is sick . . . can
feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger . . . and can get a 9 yr.
old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a Mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she
sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this Mother
can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran a finger across the cheek. 

"There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You You were trying to put too
much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

"You are a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Visit our website in between your summer frolics.
http://www.compleatmother.com

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