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from the book Fearless Parenting, Chapter 7 Get Engaged in What Truly Inspires!

Fearless Parenting

by Adelaide Zindler, FP (Fearless Parent), Ramona, California

Orientation and Training

During my first visit to see my doctor for prenatal care, he told me that his only purpose in seeing me throughout my pregnancy was to watch for anything that might go wrong. And this is healthcare? I asked myself. Further evidence of a flawed medical system came when my girlfriend, a physical therapist, told me that she was being traincd to perform post-operative procedures on patients. She said other hospitals had already begun to do the same because of the shortage of nurses.

First do no harm is an essential part of the Hippocratic Oath. But with medicine having become big business, and specialization removing more and more doctors from a holistic approach to health care, even with the best of intentions, medical practitioners are on a slippery slope. Here�s what some medical researchers are saying.

It is evident that the American medical system is the leading cause of death and injury in the United States� Medical science amasses tens of thousands of papers annually� each one a tiny fragment of the whole picture. To look at only one piece and try to understand the benefits and risks is to stand one inch away from an elephant and describe everything about it�:"

Now It�s My Turn

Because of the horrendous experience I had during my son�s hospital birth, I was overwhelmed by the fear of repeating that history for the second time, then some 23 years later. As a result I envisioned even worse conditions, and my body responded with obedience to my commands resulting in my blood pressure skyrocketing and our midwife redirecting us from home to the hospital.

After out daughter�s birth by caesarean, Peter noted that except for our baby, all the other infants were going without continual skin-to-skin contact during their critical first hours outside the womb. The possible range of side effects for the hospital-born is daunting to consider. Newborns move around for months in the womb. What makes us think they cease being active concurrent to birth? Removing the opportunity for the family to experience the enjoyment of their newborn�s antics is uncalled for.

Following Dree�s birth, I remained in the hospital for the better part of a week. If you have ever experienced a hospital stay, you understand just how many different nurses I was introduced to. Each one came with the intention of easing my pain with medication. Each one was given the same response, "No thank you@ I am breastfeeding!" Believe it or not this did not translate into their language. Some became perplexed, while other grew irate. I felt like the nurses were determined to destroy my newborn child�s well-being. And we label this healthcare! Frizzamyer* alert!

Finally toward the end of my stay, a nurse came in and sat down to learn why I had been so stubborn. After our encounter she went to her medical database to pull up findings on the safety of the hospital issued drugs.

Then when she was unable to substantiate her belief, she began thinking out loud as she compared my baby�s response o the others she had tended. She said that the other newborns may have actually been experiencing the same side effects as their mothers with frizzamyers that included irritability and extended crying spells. In our case, many on the nursing staff came into my room just to hold our baby. They all commented on her peaceful disposition. I experienced first hand the importance of my commitment to being a fearless parent in protecting my child�s well being no matter who would challenge my authority.


Jordan Rubin, N.M.D., Ph.D.

The experience of an institutional birth may play a part in the postpartum blues of which many mothers speak. I understand that midwifery and other forms of complimentary healthcare can provide the skills needed to guide couples through the birth process drug free. I see an opportunity for improving the well-being of our institutional births by humanizing healthcare for Mommy, Daddy, and baby.

*Frizzamyer ... an unusual way in which a person expresses the existence of an unmet need.

The Secrets of Fearless Parenting

Will my baby be OK? Will I be a good enough parent? From the day we learn a baby is on the way, our anxiety sets in. We turn to books, seminars, online search engines, our friends and family for advice � and still we wonder. Seldom do we invoke our own instincts as parents. Then, as our kids get older, we are fearful of discipline: Will my child still like me? We�re concerned about development: How is my child turning out? Do teachers, peers, other parents like my child? For many, parenting has become a 24/7 fearfest in which there is a tendency to abdicate to experts the raising of our children. But it doesn�t have to be.

There is a Fearless Parent in all of us. Learn more by visiting http://www.FearlessParenting.com  or call (800) 599-0997. ~Adelaide Zindler, FP

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