Michael Latham, MD, Professor of International Nutrition at Cornell University
Michael Latham SMTP:[email protected]

Pertussis Was The Culprit

When our first son was three months old, and I was a very young Mom, I took him for his three months set of shots. Two hours later, as I tried to nurse a very fussy baby, I noticed  he had an unusually large tongue.
I checked and quickly realized he was choking. I rushed him to our hospital and the doctors agreed and gave him a anaphalctic shot instantly and saved his life. He had just had one shot. Pertusis is the culprit. Our second child never did have any shots. I pressed the issue and recieved a letter on their birth records to allow the boys access to public school admission, unvaccinated for reasons of conscience.

It is terrible that some of  our little ones, have to become handicapped or worse, die as a result of this incompetant vaccine system.

Carli Heinrichs, Grand Forks, British Columbia

Thanks, Aliss!

I was struggling with depression and despair
after the premature birth of my first baby, feeling like a misfit because I didn't want to leave my baby with a sitter, sleep him in another room, or give up breastfeeding him for the benefit of the Gross National Product.

I decided to have my next baby at home, and nursed her and her later sibling, also born at home, for the next seven years. We've all reaped untold riches all because of the mother's stories, letters and articles that appeared in this little newsprint quarterly put together on the kitchen table of a rural Ontario sheepfarm and a Minot, North Dakota livingroom.
Aliss Terpstra, Toronto, Ontario

I heard the news today, oh boy!

Just heard something good on the evening news as we were headed out the door to our E.C.F.E. class;  American Academy of Pediatrics has officially changed their ways and decided that circumcision is really cruel and unecessary after all.  Is the news really true?!  I admit, I was a bit taken aback that they finally have changed their tune.  I hope this will help a bunch of pediatricians and other responsible folks to wake up and decide against doing more circumcisions.  It'll be very interesting to observe how things play out in actual practice at hospitals since the culture is so much into snipping.  I wonder if/when the U.S. and internatinal community will decide by law that genital integrity is not just for females anymore.  I definitely think we're moving in the right direction, yet can't help but think there's so much more to be done!   Happily, many of my students have decided against circumcising their sons (Most of whom I met after they had already had
their children!).

Together with my students, we've been exploring complete mother, mothering magazine and the National Vaccine Information Network sites. I'm very determined that my students understand their rights to informed consent on all things.  Many of them have not been treated all that well by the medical system and have lots of stories to tell about either signing forms after they've been drugged during labor and rushed through lots of paperwork with very little background information to go on.  Of course almost all of them tell me they had no idea they could contientiously object to shots if they want to.   I'm in the position of educating and advocating for them to know their real rights.   Our school nurse who enforces our immunization policy at school is open and is not a radical shot enforcement queen, even though she doesn't really take the time to talk with students about pros and cons of shots.  I do.  Someone has got to.  Then at least they are informed if there is a reaction from a shot.
Martin, Ana, and Allyson Appelbaum, St. Paul, Minnesota

The old question

Noah naps seldom and has never slept more than five
consecutive  hours.  I've fine-tuned this response, to
the age-old question:

Other Mother: "So, is he sleeping through the night?"

Me:  "He's not a sleeper, but he sleeps with us so it all works out.

Other Mother,  shocked:  "You better nip that habit
in the bud now.   My son/daughter slept through the
night at one/ten weeks!"

Me: "I've read gifted children don't need as much sleep as their normal peers."

Other Mother: Sputter/ blank stare/ disbelieving nod.  (I'm always hoping they'll continue it with more info about their great  sleeper).

My dream ending response if they do: huge sympathetic smile and,   "But, don't worry about your child...
the food service industry is the backbone of  our society."
   -Emily, mama to Noah (4/8/98) & Romeo, retired racing greyhound (6/90)
See our family at: http://home.inreach.com/droysdon/eroysdon/pics/
My homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Fields/1335/index.html

Inconveniences

I am convinced that our society is very mistaken when it comes to parenting our little ones. I see so many children being treated like inconveniences instead of the miracles they are.

Bottlefeeding, scheduling, crying it out at night...all of these contribute to the breakdown of society.

Please send me a new bulk subscription. I feel lost in our crazy world and need the "Mother's" centering.

Angela Woerner  Greeley, Colorado
[email protected]

Not an Easy Society

My youngest (of three) is now almost three. 
He decided he was done with nursing around
two years old.  I was all set to go to whatever
age for him, but he decided it was two.  Right
now the little guy is with his dad at the Children's
Hospital, because he has the flu and there is fear
he might be dehydrated.  I stayed home to be with
the two older children.  When my other son had a
bad flu I was still nursing and there was never any
concern about fluids.  Alot of the breastmilk was
digested before any was vomitted.

I am worried about my littlest, and at the same time
I trust his strong little body to fight this off.  He has
never been vaccinated, he was breastfed as long as
he wanted, and he eats as much organic food as I can
afford.  (Also he is a blood type O and some research
says O's have  strong immune systems.)

Other than this, all is well in our household.  I am  thankful for my three children and their father.  I am just coming off a six month computer contract where I worked four days a week. It was too much;I missed the children terribly, and now   will only accept contracts of three days a week maximum.  It's a bit of a stretch out here in the business world but I have to set the limit.

This is not an easy society to live in. The last many
hundred years haven't been much better.  I take strength from mother  writers   doing all they can for their families.
Karin Harris, Calgary

Pass the Milk

Pass the Milk

I must have been a wetnurse in a past life.

My sister-in-law adopted a newborn, and I
asked her if she would like me to pump my
milk for her new baby.  (They would never
go for direct nursing.)  I also encouraged
her to breastfeed, but the one lactation
consultant she spoke to told her it would
be too much work.

She declined my milk, and I cried.  My
sadness was for  the baby boy, now 14
months and  in daycare five days a week.
He has been on antibiotics several times,
was vaccinated and cries often.  I had
ample milk.  I wish I could have helped.
Jenna Melissas, Woodstock, Georgia

DPT Victim

Last month a child was vaccinated in our area
with the wicked DPT, and is now paralyzed in
both arms and legs. So sad and so unnecessary.
And my best friend had a little boy this morning,
and called to tell me her news, as she had a
moment of time, since the nurses took the little
boy to be circumcised!  I cried. Why should that
baby, only four hours old, who should be snuggled
at his mother's breast, warm and safe, be mutilated
and in writhing pain.  I  pray The Mother reaches
many before they make these painful decisions.
I will leave copies in public places, hoping they
reach someone in time.  Thank you for publishing
our magazine, in a world of chaos.
Wendy Garverick, Jersey Shore, Pennsylvania

You can email the reporter's editor at:
[email protected]
Reporter Jeff Harder's email is:
[email protected]
Niagara Falls breastfeeding mother Julia Goforth is at:[email protected]

Young Mens Christian Association offended by breastfeeding (This is a response from Nicole Miller, B.A. B.Ed.)

Dear Mr. Harder,

Your article "Niagara Falls Woman wins Booby Prize" has recently come to my attention.

Did you know that the average global weaning age for children is 4 years old? It is only our unfortunate western society that forces dependant youngsters to be "independent" as early as possible, it is only our distorted society that allows a baby to be nurtured by a plastic nipple rather than the comfort, warmth and closeness of his mothers.  And sadly, it is articles like yours - both sarcastic and pedantic, that help keep us in the dark ages.

It is painfully obvious, that women and men who have been forced from the breast themselves, or made the tragic decision to force their babies away from it, hold so much pain, guilt and jealousy towards that mom's children that their prejudices and ridiculous statements about a child's independence bely their own unfortunate upbringings.

And for the record, you will never see an untrained four-year old cloth diapered baby - it is only  our gluttonous, convenience-starved disposable society that has produced the comfort and dryness associated with plastic diapers and hence, babies who have no real incentive to train themselves.

I'm sorry that you wrote this article.  I'm sorry that you were not allowed to wean at your pace, and I'm sorry that you chose not to research this topic before writing your silly opinion.

Sincerely,

Nicole Miller, B.A. B.Ed.
[SMTP:[email protected]]

Response by Catherine Young to Jeff Harder

Dear Jeff, editor and Christians at the Y:

Psalm 22, Verse 9
"Yet it was you who took me from the womb;
you kept me safe on my mother's breast."

Since Jesus, Moses, Solomon, and the rest of the heroes in the new and old testament were allowed to suck nourishing, health-giving,  brain enriching mothers' milk well beyond their third years of life, it seems a  ironic that the Niagara Falls Young Men's Christian Association should banish suckling children where bottle-toting tots are welcome.

Greater minds than Jeff Harder's have  declared breastfeeding to be protective against breast cancer, ovarian cancer, osteoporosis, obesity and anxiety in the mother, and that babies who consume breastmilk will be 8.3 IQ points higher than those fed formula with apparent YMCA approval.

The esteemed American Academy of Pediatrics, the Society of Obs/Gyn of  Canada, the Pediatric Society of Canada and most of the literate world who read scientific headlines at least, now know babies and children given breastmilk are less likely to be victims of SIDS, multiple sclerosis, Crohn's, colitis, fatal necrotizing enterocolitis, miningitis, gastro-intestinal illness, lymphoid hypertrophy and bacteremia.

Our fist comfort zone concern must be with our youngest, smallest, most vulnerable.   If Jeff and the members of the YMCA are offended by young children engaging in healthy, happy life-sustaining activity, so be it.  If the Goforth children are spared one medical battle
because their mother did not opt for the soya beans or cow milk fare Harder et al digest with ease, then let them squirm.

Catherine Young
The Friends of Breastfeeding Society
RR# 3 Clifford Ontario N0G 1M0

tel. 519-327-8785
email: [email protected]

During the circumcision I tried to comfort him by trying to get him to suck on my finger. The doctor remarked to me that "nothing helps". At a certain point during the procedure I had the closest thing I have ever had to an out-of-body experience. I had to emotionally disconnect from what was going on in that room in order to get through it. I couldn't take his struggling and the soundless cry that soon changed to listlessness. I felt that I was observing myself watching the whole thing. I wanted to stop the circumcision soon after it started, but felt that the harm had already been done (and besides, I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of the doctor I respected). On my way out of the procedure room I looked at my sons severed foreskin in the trash can and wondered if it was too late to put it back on.

Ethan slept the rest of the day. I am convinced he was responding to the trauma by this deepest of sleep. When I changed his first diaper after the circ I was repulsed by what I saw! My perfect little boy had changed. He looked wounded!! The next day I observed that the whole body of his penis seemed to be retracted into his body. It looked like he didn't even have a penis. He was 18 months old before his penis was not retracted into the base of his abdomen the majority of the time.

I was depressed. My depression only deepened when a friend stopped by with a meal and told me that she hadn't had either of her boys circumcised. This was a fact I hadn't known. My husband also reacted to my regret by telling me that his dad hadn'tbeen circumcised, and one of his closest friends was also intact. I felt angry at him for denying me the information that could have given me the strength to stand up against Ethan's circumcision. I tried to defend my actions to myself in order to feel like I wasn't a monster. To a certain extent I succeeded.

When my son was four months old my good friend Jody McLaughlin was involved in bringing Marilyn Milos to my hometown for a presentation about genital integrity. She invited me, and I remember feeling that I really didn't want to attend. But in the end, I went as a favor to a friend. While there I saw the movie "Fire Eyes" about female circumcision. I witnessed a baby girl held down while her genitals were cut, and I wanted to grab her and protect her! I experienced a cringing feeling that started in my genitals and worked its way up to my throat! I felt sick to my stomach and had to leave the room. I told Jody "Oh my god! It's the same thing!", (meaning male circumcision and female circumcision). I realized for the first time how
desensitized I had become to the subject. That day marked a complete turn-around in my feelings. What had ever made me think that it was a decision I had a right to make? The thought of someone exerting that kind of control over a child's body moved me like little else has.

When I learned that our third child would be another boy, I have to admit that I was disappointed. Now I am thankful that God gave me another "Chance" because I have a stronger voice because of it. At age 5 years Jesse has had no problems with his uncircumcised penis. I have to admit that it took a little getting used to. It looked so different from what I was used to seeing, but time has changed my perception. I had never noticed the scar on my husband and my first two sons until I noticed the ABSENCE of a scar on Jesse. How I could have ever thought that an uncircumcised penis was cosmetically better is a mystery to me now. I see how perfect and natural Jesse looks, and I would give anything to go back 10+ years so that I could have 3 uncircumcised sons. Jesse is less inhibited about his genitals than his brothers are, and he is much better endowed. I wonder if the removal of the vast amount of tissue, nerve endings and the circulatory damage of circumcision somehow affects how the penis develops and matures. Jesse has a higher pain tolerance than either of his brothers, and he complains less when in cool water than they do. Both of my other sons hold their genitals and complain about the temperature of the swimming pool if it isn't warm that day, but Jesse's little "blanket" serves him well.

I urge any of you who can use my story to do so. If there is one consolation I can take to my grave it is this. The sacrifice of my first two sons' foreskins has saved countless more boys from this procedure than if I had left them intact. And it has taught me to always, always QUESTION.
Lori
[email protected]

(Ed. note: one way to network is to post your concerns on our bulletin board. Try it! It works.

Canadian Midwife

To whom it most concerns at the College of Midwives of B.C.:

It has come to my attention that your College is attempting to put private birth attendant Gloria Lemay out of business. This is unwise for several reasons. Firstly, she is a highly qualified birth attendant; in my own obstetric history I have come across many people who have made a career out of servicing pregnant women, and she is by far the most knowledgeable of how a normal birth unfolds. And since she has not spent many years in becoming well-versed in the abnormalities of childbirth, she does not anticipate them. However, she is quick to address abnormalities if they do occur, and will readily transport a woman to hospital if need be.

Secondly, her life's work has been in caring for birthing women; Ms. Lemay has spent the last twenty years assisting parturient women, and it is a grave insult to her, as well as the women she has served, by trying to have her forced out of business, and not serving her community, where her services are needed most.

Thirdly, by trying to eradicate the last of the lay midwives in the province of B.C. you are acting in a way that reminds me of the anti-midwifery movement of the early twentieth century: you are trying to have her legislated out of existence. You are, in effect, calling this scrupulously clean, well-educated woman "dirty and ignorant", and the women she serves, reckless and suspect. Please note that you can
only harm your own credibility when you systematically try to wipe out your sisters in midwifery.

Fourth, you are acting in a way that can only lead me to believe you do not respect my choice as an intelligent, sentient woman in a pluralistic and democratic society,  regarding the choice of who attends me in childbirth: I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough- the choice is mine. No one has has the right to strip me of my right to say who may be with me during this highly personal, highly vulnerable time. Far too many times have my choices been stolen from me, and I will never again be deprived of my rights in childbirth. She will not go down silently.

Which brings me to my last point. If your College persists in the most unwise venture of trying to put private birth attendant Gloria Lemay out of business, I, my children, and my husband, as well as the hundreds of women Ms. Lemay has attended, and their children, and their husbands, will band together to do whatever is necessary to protect and help the woman who protected us, and helped us so well in our most vulnerable time; you, right now, are making her somewhat vulnerable through your persistent attacking, and I will protect her as I love my own children: with ferocity, and unending passion.
With utmost sincerity,

- Lora-Lee McCracken

I just got my first online mailing of Compleat Mother and I LOVE IT! Thanks so much for sending out such wonderful information. I love the homebirth stories!

I  had to have c-sections with my 4 children, but I totally advocate natural childbirth to everyone I meet. I was in an unfortunate situation to have a little bitty pelvis and Type 1 Diabetes for 17 years, thus causing some healthy sized babies.  I still had wonderful experiences and beautiful, healthy, nurtured children. I just had my last baby in May and he is thriving on my milk! What a blessing to have people out there who understand that there isn't another way to give your baby the best! Thanks again, you guys are awesome!

-Ami

I used to read Compleat Mother years ago when my oldest daughter was an infant, and a friend just sent the url for your online edition. Reading the articles and news reminded me how empowering the magazine was for me as a young mother surrounded by voices telling me that all my instincts were wrong.

After completing the questions in the online edition, I wonder if you might consider including articles about parenting older children...after all, mothering doesn't stop when children are weaned. : )   In any case, keep up the great work. Compleat Mother is a sane voice in an often crazy world.
-Cynthia Ritch

I just finished reading the latest issue and had to say thanks again for such a wonderful publication!  It gives me encouragement when friends and family doubt our decision to continue nursing ("She's STILL nursing?!"; "When are you going to wean her?!"), have a family bed ("Isn't she in her own bed, YET?!"; "You'll never get her out of your bed!") and general attachment parenting, (but frequently comment on how happy and pleasant she is!)  My husband and I know we're doing what's best and right for our daughter, but our friends view us as "freaks" and can't believe the choices we've made.  What I can't believe is that out of 7 Moms in my playgroup, only 2 have breastfed!  I can't help but comment when they state their children are sick, once again, and my 14 mo.old has NEVER been sick.  But they only get defensive when I attribute her good health to breastfeeding!  Could it be because they feel guilty?!...

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for showing me there are others who feel/believe like I do!  I'm taking my well-read back issues to my new midwife
next week!! 
-Joi Straaten
[email protected]

VBAC

I love The Mother, though  I don't always agree with all the radical views.I have a beautiful 11-month-old-son  born by emergency C-section. ( I whole-heartedly regret not using a midwife and feel that with one I may have birthed vaginally) but look forward to a VBAC without a  doctor for baby #2 . My son and I still share a beautiful and loving nursing relationship and it's my husband who relishes   our family bed more than anyone.
-Susan Annala, Bowser, British Columbia

Australian Homebirth

I was living in Byron Bay, Australia when I found out I was pregnant.   I visited midwife Pam Sonia, who works out of the Mullumbimby Medical Centre and discussed homebirth.

Christine and my brother Sandy sent me back issues of Compleat Mother and some of Catherine's raspberry leaf tea. Pam is also a nurse with over twelve years of experience catching babies - I think it was over four hundred at last count! She was against interference and into natural medicines and homeopathy.

My pregnancy was wonderful - I had no morning sickness, no stretchmarks (apricot kernal oil and at least twenty minutes of sunlight a day on my belly), no emotional upsets and I looked and felt fantastic.

Byron Bay is a great place to have a baby - the support for midwives and for homebirths and motherhood in general is amazing!
Carmel Debreuil  [email protected]

Foreskin Concern

I am a 42 year old mother of four children, ages 2, 4, 7 and 10 (all boys except the 7 year old). Three of my children were home births.  I am new to your magazine and I don't know if you have dealt with the subject of circumcision. I recently had an experience that I'd like to share with all mothers who have uncircumsized boys.

My four year old was diagnosed with a condition called phimosis where the foreskin adheres to the tip of the penis and won't retract. This wouldn't be so bad except his pee hole was the size of a pin head. The urologists all recommended circumcision.  I was disappointed and scared because putting four year old through all that pain was the last thing I wanted to do.

The day before his surgery, I found a site on the internet which said that there was 95% success using a steroid cream to correct phimosis. I cancelled the surgery.  I put the cream on my son for the next month and a half. The other day as I was applying some cream and the skin gently slid right down revealing his beautiful tip.  I was ecstatic! 

I want mothers to know that there is an alternative to this condition that works. Please help me spread the word.  Thank you.

Diane Baxter
Burbank, California

We just started going to a new pediatrician. The nurse there came in to ask the usual round of questions (sleeping, feeding, etc). She said Annika (5 months old) should be eating fruit and cereal and was annoyed when I told her we weren't starting solids until 6 months or whenever Annika wants them.  She said "You should REALLY be feeding her cereal by now."  I started quoting AAP guidelines to her and she cut me off and said "Well, if that's what you WANT to do!"  Like maybe I am just making up these guidelines to please myself?  Sheesh.  The doctor is great... we interviewed him to make sure he was supportive of our decisions, but I wonder where these nurses come from.  Ironically, we left our old group of peds in part because of a really obnoxious nurse (there were lots of other things we didn't like, but she was the straw that broke the camel's back).
Lisa and Hollis, 12/14/95 and Annika, 3/19/98
--
* [email protected]  THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE  

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Recovering from a Cesarean

     I had an emergency cesarean in May '96 under general anesthesia for fetal distress.  My son, Freddy, was fine, luckily, but for me it was a traumatic and unsatisfying experience. Emotionally, it took me a long time to recover, and the  International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN) online chapter proved to be a wonderful source of support and information.      I am expecting at the end of November, but this time planning a homebirth (VBAC) with a midwife. I breastfed Freddy for 13 months and  plan on nursing the next little one as long as he/she needs. It was a source of great satisfaction to me to be able to breastfeed Freddy successfully, especially after his birth seemed to go so wrong, and it was certainly a factor that helped me heal emotionally from the cesarean.

Breastfeeding was tough for the first month  and I am so sad  for the many moms who are not able to get breastfeeding going after a c-section or other traumatic birth. It's just another source of grief for many of them.  Psychologically, it's like adding insult to injury; first the body appears to "fail" at giving birth, then appears to "fail" at breastfeeding. Our North American medical climate so often undermines the natural birth process with interventions, then it encourages the mother to blame herself for failing to birth or initiate breastfeeding successfully under such restrictions, by refusing to take any responsibility for interfering with the natural process.  Then, it fails to recognise the post-partum depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome or emotional distress that occurs as a result, and society
tells the woman "the only thing that matters is your
healthy baby" as if her emotional and mental well being is somehow incidental to her ability to nurture and care for her family!

Shame on our North American culture and pride,
especially when our neonatal and maternal mortality and morbidity statistics do not bear out the superiority of our obstetrical practices!
Pippa Freyer, Minden, Ontario
[email protected]

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On Hard Work and Happiness

Why does everyone say having a baby is such ard work?
     (Before and after a homebirth and breastfeeding) Not one spoke of the joys of motherhood. No one (except my midwives and La Leche League) had any positive suggesstions. Months ago, I thought they were all wrong. Now I know they are.
     It's hard to explain, the amzing love I feel for my three month old son. I am a mother lioness, and he is my kitten. I would rip to shreds anyone that came between us. I am completely happy with motherhood as my career. Even on bad days, when he fusses and fusses, and I can't get a thing done, I want to cry, my heart is bursting with such happiness. I wish I could spread these feelings as a message to the majority of "Mass media mothers." I wish I could tell them all the "necessary conveniences" don't mean diddly to the happiness and well-being of your child. Life is easier when you follow your heart.
                                                   .... Julie Luck

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