December 5, 2001
The Compleat Mother Newsletter
//-- Editor comment --//
The "S" Word
//-- Substance --//
Three more chapters from Catherine's book
"Breastfeeding Anyway"
-Being Bitten
-Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction
-For Love Itself
Four chapters from Birth Joy
-Water Birth
-Don't Be Afraid
-Tears of Triumph
-The Experience of My Life
//--Eternally Pregnant--//
God Answers a Man's Prayer
//--Letter from Rebecca Young--""
//-- Closing --//
//-- Editor Comment --//
The "S" Word
The word "should" is an interesting one.
By definition it is "Used to express obligation or duty"
People say, "You should go to Church!"
or "Kids should be seen and not heard!"
or "I should be working."
or "What you should know as a parent."
or "You should breastfeed!"
I propose that we ban the "S" word from our everyday speech. After
all, if we use it we are only expressing our own view of a topic. Not only
that, it is also a very aggressive word.
And it explodes another word.
"Tolerance"
I believe our best preaching is done by our actions
rather than our words.
Comments? Please send them to [email protected]
/////
We will continue to send you portions of Catherine's books
"Breastfeed Anyway!"and "Birth Joy" in the newsletters.
If you print out the newsletters you will have the books free of charge!
That's what Catherine wanted for you.
-Greg Cryns
online editor, The Compleat Mother Magazine
<<<>>>
Who needs ordinary Christmas cards?
Take a look at this one: http://www.compleatmother.com/christmas_card.htm
<<<>>>
Being Bitten
By Catherine Young, Clifford, Ontario
Rebecca was fuzzy headed and laughing at seven months. At eight she hiked up
on wobbly legs and giggled at me in the kitchen. She was a love-bunny, the
darling of my heart, the joy of my life, and then she bit me.
"Ouch!" I hollered, more frightened than hurt, and instinctively
jammed my finger between her gums. She cried, and I did too.
We went for walks in the park with our sling. She joined me on her sheepskin
while I baked. We nursed. She grinned. I cooed. She stretched her legs in a
baby ballet. She fixed blue eyes on mine, stopped in mid-suck and bit me
again..
"No!" I admonished, this time not as surprised but still pretty
darn mad.
There were repeat performances, a good dozen times, until we both learned
two things. She had a certain look that would precede a bite, and she would
stop sucking for a second before the big chomp. I would immediately follow a
bite with an action that ended access to my beloved nipple; I was mother,
not an apple.
I have been bitten again. By more babies, neighbours, salesmen, lovers,
teachers, relatives, and a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig. I try to convey the
same message to them all; I am not an apple. Depending on their size and
shape, I will convey the message more than once (with my babies it was
always over and over and over) and as lovingly as
Catherine Young lives near Clifford, Ontario and has a flock of sheep.
They have no upper teeth.
<<<>>>
Biting
by Melanie Fike, Lytton, British Columbia
Biting came at about nine months. Sequoia would bite me at least six times a
day. Startled reaction, stern voice, taking her off the breast momentarily -
nothing worked. She would smile; she wasn't getting it.
So what I did was, every time she bit me, I took her off the breast, gold
her what was happening, and left the room for as long as I could stand it;
usually a minute. She would cry, and I would feel terrible hearing her cry,
but after doing this for about two weeks without fail, she totally stopped
biting.
She realized that biting meant no mommy.
<<<>>>
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<<<>>>
Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction
by Heather Belford, Midwife, Hinchinbrooke Hospital, Huntingdon, England
Women who have undergone breast-reduction surgery have successfully
breastfed. There are two types of reduction mammoplasty: 1. The nipple and
areola area being carried on a pedicle of tissue to their new location with
their own blood and nerve supply. In the process the nipples are separated
from the lactiferous ducts. The volume of breast tissue is reduced and the
skin trimmed.
2. The nipple and areola are completely removed from the blood and nerve
supply and the duct system. They are repositioned as a free graft higher up
on a bed of breast tissue. Lactation is not possible after this type of
operation. This type of mammoplasty is rare in the United Kingdom.
Complete rooming in and total demand feeding are important to make the
attempt to breastfeed, worthwhile. Night feeds are also paramount as this is
when a woman's prolactin levels are raised. Three out of five women I looked
at, who had mammoplasty, breastfed their babies exclusively. One mother said
her doctor gave her a 50% chance of lactation after her reduction and added,
"Until my baby was sucking at my breast and my milk came at the second
day, I still did
not believe I would be able to successfully breastfeed. Now I have a 16
month- old who is fully breastfed, in fact she likes her milk so much she
isn't terribly interested in solids."
<<<>>>
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<<<>>>
For Love Itself
by James Prescott, PhD, Boone, North Carolina
I challenge the justice system to find one murderer, rapist or drug addict
in any correctional facility who was breastfed "two years and
beyond," as recommended by the World Health Organization. If a national
health policy would support
mothers being nurturant mothers our culture would transform from violence to
peace.
If we are to survive as a species, we must return to the 'lifeplan', which
through millions of years of evolutionary biology and psychobiology, has
provided for the intimate, physical affectional bonding between mother and
her offspring, which establishes the foundation for later sexual affectional
bonding and for love itself.
Without love, there can be no survival of Homo Sapiens.
Only in the recent human mammal do we find the newborn separated from its
mother at birth, and the mother not breastfeeding its newborn and infant.
Such aberrant behavior has exacted a terrible price upon the physical,
emotional, and social health of the offspring, as a baby, a child, an
adolescent and an adult:
depression, impulse dyscontrol, violence and substance abuse. On the other
hand, those adults fortunate enough to have been breastfed two years or
more, will have enhanced integrative brain development for the experiencing
of sexual
affection, pleasure and bonding which translates into stable psychosexual
and marital relationships and diminished divorce.
<<<>>>
Water Birth
My labor began early on Sunday. Tracy, a doula, my husband, mother and
midwife, all assisted with different comfort techniques. At six centimeters
dilated I was walking around the kitchen, eating and drinking as usual. The
weightlessness of the jacuzzi bath felt wonderful and provided tremendous
comfort. (It was the same temperature as the amniotic fluid-99 degrees F.)
Never once did I lay down on my back, because that was painful, even
for a second.
My cervix was completely dilated at suppertime, and fifteen minutes of
gentle breathing helped guide Sierra Elaine out into the warm water. My
little miracle of life floated in my arms. I cannot put into words the joy I
felt, not only for her
presence, but for the realization I had succeeded in birthing at home in
water. I was empowered to fulfill my childbirth dreams with the experience I
so rightly deserved. I felt like a mother.
Here's why it worked: Waterbirth provided me with non-narcotic pain relief.
Due to my increased relaxation I produced less adrenalin, so my hormones
(endorphin and oxytocin) had increased production.
Diana Seymout-Espie
<<<>>>
Don't be Afraid
I was alone when I went into labour. My husband was at work and our two
children were asleep. I called Christiane who came and explained the
hospital would probably send me home because I wasn't very far along.
I enjoyed the privacy of a bath without little kids saying, "How come
you get it so deep and we don't?" Then I wondered if we should call
someone, and my husband tried to help me get my housecoat on, and we left in
the truck with me leaning on the window, perched on my knees.
Christiane was beside me, telling me I was fine.
I was listening to my body, inhaling through my nose and exhaling out my
mouth, with my voice low and mouth open.
I did not push. Eva was born in our truck with the amniotic sac intact. I
was safe between my husband and Christiane, who could care for the baby.
Eva's head came out on Summit Avenue, and that's a pretty place at 2:00 a.m.
with the view
of the harbour. We didn't stop. The rest of her slid out under the eaves of
the emergency entrance.
Chris wrapped Eva in my discarded housecoat to warm her, while my husband
rang the bell. The emergency nurse got in a flap and let the hospital door
close behind her and we were all locked out until a security guard heard her
banging
on the door.
It was a fabulous birth. I will never forget our doula saying, "Your
baby's fine," or my husband touching Eva with his gentle, loving
manner. The doctor arrived ten minutes later and laughed.
The truck was the place for this perfect birth. I was secure, safe, and
calm. My body opened. The best advice is: Don't be afraid. I wasn't; I am
exhilarated when I think of the birth of Eva.
Irish friends said because she was born in the sac, she will have a lucky
life. Scottish friends told us she will never drown.
By Kathleen Palm, Prince Rupert, British Columbia
<<<>>>
Tears of Triumph
Indian Summer. Bright afternoon sunshine streamed in through the open
window, splashing everything with warm yellow puddles of light, giving
the room an almost holy luminescence.
Leaning wearily against my husband Jim, between squatting pushes, I gathered
strength. It was hard work birthing a posterior baby.
With a warm trickle of fluid, out slipped my baby's head, then his
shoulders, and I reached down to lift the rest of his body from mine. Mixed
with tears of joy were tears of triumph. I safely and successfully gave
birth to my second child in the environment of my choice, at home.
I am overweight and have essential hypertension, high blood pressure which
predates a pregnancy. I became a childbirth educator, then lay midwife. Day
to day involvement with birth developed in me the conviction that the
absence of
interference in birth makes home a safer place for many high-risk women.
I needed a midwife who wouldn't weigh me or take my blood pressure. I ate
well, prayed, exercised regularly and used herbs. During my sixth month of
pregnancy a dear friend and midwife agreed to tend me. With her help I
joyfully gave birth to 11 pound, 6 oz. Joshua, at home in October. We plan
on starting another pregnancy too. Need I tell you where we plan on giving
birth?
By Jeriann Fairman, Sugarloaf, California
<<<>>>
The Experience of My Life
I had a tubal reversal, and got pregnant soon after.
My weight gain seemed right; I was 20 pounds overweight before conception.
I felt strongly about giving birth at home, in Northern Ontario, and my
midwife and her apprentice supported me with many phone calls.
My due date went by and I was as ready as could be, with sterile sheets and
gowns. Pre-labour lasted several weeks.
I thought I might be in true labour around 10 p.m., and called the midwives
an hour later. They had a three-hour drive ahead of them; my good friend
Kathy came over.
I had a nice bath, then nature played its great role of emptying my lower
intestine. The contractions were regular and strong.
Desiree was born at 3:19 a.m., in the bed she was created in. I found it
virtually painless, no tears, no problems with the afterbirth.
There was a moment of fear. The midwives didn't arrive until ten minutes
after the birth. My 11-year old daughter, Josie was with me during the
experience of my life. She was fabulous.
Both she and her eight-year old brother spend hours holding and playing with
their sister. She is breastfed and diapered in cotton.
Christine Gagnon, Foleyet, Ontario
<<<>>>
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<<<>>>
God Answers a Man's Prayer
A man was walking along a California beach and was in deep
prayer to the Lord. He said, "Lord, you have promised me the desires of
my heart. That's what I am asking you for right
now. Please give me a confirmation that you will grant my
wish."
Suddenly the sky clouded up over his head and the Lord in a
booming voice spoke to him. "I have searched your heart and
determined it to be pure. The last time I issued a blank wish
request it was to Solomon. He didn't disappoint me with his
request for wisdom. I think I can trust that you won't
disappoint me either. Because you have been faithful to me in all ways, I
will grant you one wish you ask for."
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've
always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm deadly afraid of flying
and I get very sea sick on boats. Could you build a bridge to
Hawaii, so I can drive over there to visit whenever I want?"
The Lord laughed and said, "That's incredibly difficult! Think
of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach
the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!!!
Your request is very materialistic, a little disappointing. I could do it,
but it's hard for me to justify your craving for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and
glorify Me as well."
The man thought about it for a long while and tried to think
of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "Here's the deal,
Lord. I've been married and divorced four times. My wives
always said that I didn't care and that I'm insensitive. So I
wish that I could understand women...I want to know how they feel inside and
what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to know
why they're crying...I want to know what they really mean when they say
'nothing'...I want to know how to make them truly happy...That's the wish
that I want, Lord."
After a few minutes, God said, "You want two lanes or four on that
bridge?"
<<<>>>
//--Letter from Rebecca Young--//
{ed. Note- something tells me that Rebecca inherited a whole lot of her
mother's good traits- This article was published in the latest print edition
of The Compleat Mother magazine)
My mother touched each and every one of us. I first said that line on
Friday, September 14, 2001, as our friends and family gathered at Knox
United Church in Clifford, Ontario to celebrate the life of Catherine Anna
Young. Other family
members spoke about Catherine the mom, the sister, the cousin. I spoke
instead about Catherine the publisher. In the wake of her death, there has
been an amazing outpouring of tributes and stories from her global
community, some of
which we have reprinted on the last 5 pages of this issue. I also read
a few of these statements at the funeral. I managed to make it all the way
through my eulogy, but as I started to read the words of women who loved my
mother so simply and utterly, the tears rolled down my cheeks. I cried
again as I cut and pasted other tributes into the pages of her magazine,
this magazine which is now weighing quite heavily on my shoulders.
I am not a mother, as the title of this editorial clearly explains. I need
the mothers who are reading this to guide me as I put together each issue,
sharing your stories, advice, and wisdom. I am but your tool of
communication, so please, use me. This is what my mother wanted, and I am
willing to carry on her work for at least the next year. Hopefully by then
someone will come forward who can take over this labour of love, and I will
have reached a point in my life where I am willing to say goodbye. Until
then, I am here to serve my mother's vision. What follows is the
eulogy I read on Friday. This is how I saw my mother's life.
My mother changed the world. Mom was a leader, a pioneer and an icon in the
breastfeeding community. She had the rare and precious combination of
strength, courage and conviction that leads to greatness. Her vision
was singular, her life devoted to promoting natural pregnancy, birth and
breastfeeding. To this end, she published a small newsprint magazine. The
magazine was a voice in the dark, unapologetic and unabashedly radical. 17
years ago, Mom started to write what no one else was saying, pushing the
boundaries constructed by a birthing industry that had become
medicalized. It turned out that she was saying what thousands of
women were thinking, but no one else dared to verbalize. She was a
pioneer, blazing a path that would
become a well-traveled road. And I live every day so enormously proud that
MY MOM was responsible for creating a safe space for women to talk about
breastfeeding in public, and birthing naturally.
Her style was in-your-face and all-or-nothing. Her passion sparked
controversy, but in its wake always ignited debate and made us all
reconsider truths previously held unquestioningly.
In the summer of 2000, I was hired to work at the Hamilton hospital where I
was born 21 years previously. A few days after I started, I had a meeting
with the lactation consultant. Throughout the meeting, we talked about the
internal political issues surrounding the World Breastfeeding Week
celebrations, and I interjected that such compromises would shock my mother.
The lactation consultant was interested to know about this well-informed
mother of mine, and I
elaborated that my mom had a small breastfeeding magazine, The Compleat
Mother. This woman shocked me by shrieking,
"You are Catherine's daughter!?!"
That was my first realization that Mom's influence stretched outside a few
select hippie communes, but certainly not my last.
Mom, you have left your mark on souls around the world. I will do what I can
to ensure those souls have a page to share their version of your voice
as they choose to write it. I will make mistakes, as you did. I will make
changes, as you did. But I will never forget you, and will always honour
you.
<<<>>>
//-- Closing --//
If you like what you see here, on the website and in the print edition,
please help us keep the Compleat Mother in business. The loss of Catherine
Young is difficult to overcome but we strongly feel that Catherine will
guide us through the difficult times ahead for her publication. We
have excellent people who are dedicated to maintaining the spirit and
quality of the magazine.
You can help us by recommending the magazine to your friends and relatives
and by sending them to the website for more information. Simply recommending
that they subscribe to this newsletter will also help.
But most of all, please renew your current subscription or sign up again if
it has lapsed for some time!
<<<>>>
The Compleat Mother staff thanks you for your support.
Website: http://www.compleatmother.com
To subscribe to our quarterly print edition:
http://www.compleatmother.com/subscriptions.htm
It is not so much which faith you espouse, as that you have faith.
Seasons blessings to each and every one of you!
Rebecca Young
Jody McLaughlin
Greg Cryns
Inside Mother
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