The Compleat Mother Magazine http://www.compleatmother.com //--My mother-in-law--// //-- Mother to Mother: Editorial by Catherine Young from the Summer, 1987, issue! --// //-- Chapters from Breastfeeding Anyway and Birth Joy --// - Sean: My Midwife Baby - A Quiet Drive - Pierced Nipple - Breastfeeding a Bottlefed Early Baby //-- Reader Letters --// //-- Humor -- // <<<>>> //--My mother-in-law--// Betty, my mother-in-law, is a wonderful person. I love her. She is always there when we need her, rain or shine. Like all of us, of course, she does have a quirk or two. One day my wife, Betty’s daughter, and I attended a dinner at Betty’s church. Betty was talking to a couple we didn’t know when we strolled by them. She pulled us over and introduced us to her friends. “This is my son-in-law and his wife!” -greg cryns <<<>>> //-- Mother to Mother: Editorial by Catherine Young from the Summer, 1987, issue! --// Standing in a twenty minute lineup for the express check-out, I had a quiet moment to wonder about life’s experiences and how they compare to reproductivity. Hitching a ride on the back of a freight train at midnight in college-days was exciting. Passing my son from my body into my husband’s hands at 2am ranked many levels of Passion higher than just exciting and I never once thought I would die. Necking in the back seat of somebody’s father’s car at the drive-in was warm, cuddly, vaguely erotic and made us all feel like we were very bad. Tandem nursing my toddler and newborn daughters was warm, cuddly, vaguely erotic and made us all feel very good. Dipping into the Atlantic in August or the Pacific in June was exhilarating, refreshing and chilly. Three kids and mom in a tub was exhilarating, refreshing and warm; we all got clean and splashes mixed with giggles made me born again. Landing a job and hanging on to it until payday was challenging, between long periods of boredom. The first month of parenting disappeared between long periods of exhaustion, and the first baby bonus cheque was a generous affirmation. I am a valuable mother-person. It also helped pay off the most pressing bills. Once, weak with the bronchitis as a teenager, I wondered if I would ever be strong again. As a mother when my listless baby could barely suck, I wondered if I could go on if edication didn’t help his strep throat infection. It is a passage to lose a parent, and an impossible hardship to lose a child. It was anti-gravity to be a young woman in love. To find a man who worships you; to be his goddess. It is something higher to be a baby’s parent, a true God. “Mommy, where do butterflies come from? Daddy what is the chiropractor’s middle name? How do the plants drink water if they have no mouth?” Only a real God could know so many things and the child has no doubt in your ability. And no baby of mine every told me I should shave my legs. The lineup moved. My turn at the cash register. ”You have nine items. You can only have eight. You’ll have to go to the end of the other lines,” says someone with an impotent mind, grasping a false sense of power where possible. I unload my purchases, leave a bunch of over-ripe bananas in my cart and pay the bill. I could go back home to a far more interesting world where the natives are friendly, well-balanced and much more adoring than the man on the street. -- Catherine Young, Summer 1987 Issue of The Compleat Mother Magazine <<<>>> //-- Chapters from Breastfeeding Anyway and Birth Joy --// Sean: My Midwife Baby My first two births were joyous and sacred events, and yet this time, for my third baby, I longed to do things a little differently. Birth had never been a problem, but what I really wanted was support during my pregnancy. I wanted someone to comfort me if I was concerned, and answer the many questions I had, even as a third time mother. My midwives thought I had a great attitude. When I asked them how I could slow my labour a little, they suggested I deliver lying on my side this time. (My birthing history seemed to suggest a squat was too fast for me.) Once again, my first indication of birth was my water breaking. It was a warm Sunday afternoon, and I was just preparing a picnic to go to the beach, when my water broke. This time I was afraid I didn’t have much time. Phil and I had decided on a hospital birth, assisted by only a midwife (no doctors or nurses unless absolutely necessary). I was tense in the car because we got into a traffic jam. When we reached the hospital I felt calm. Our midwife met us at the hospital and helped my children get ready for my third birth. I especially wanted my daughter to have the opportunity to see a positive birth experience. Though my son was quite young, he insisted on attending also. (Perhaps one day he will be a great support to his partner in labour….) As hoped, the birth went smoothly again, and I was perfectly lucid. I was on my side during birth, and this did help slow things down. The midwife used a hot oil massage on my perineum to help avoid tears. She applied the oil at just the right moment and it felt soothing. Sean slipped out quickly and easily, quick as lightning. I needed no stitches and had no tears. Sean lay on my stomach for 15 minutes while the umbilical cord continued to pulse, then Phil cut it. Within 20 minutes, baby Sean was nursing, and continued for an entire hour. After, the midwife ran a warm bath, and baby and I went in. She helped to clean me up and while baby Sean ontinued to nurse, she washed him too. Then we all dried off, got dressed, and walked off to our car to go home. In total, I was in the hospital three hours. No drugs, no stitches, no interventions. So much of life can be imperfect; I am honoured I had the experiences of three sacred births. Karin Harris, 648 Linnet Cres. S.E., Calgary, Alberta, T2J 2J4 <<<>>> A Quiet Drive The sun was just rising and ice crystals sparkled on branches as Peter drove Sue to The Grace Salvation Army Hospital in Halifax. It occurred to her there are few occasions for parents of several children to have a quiet drive and uninterrupted conversation. Her fifth birth was the easiest. Peter and Sue Comstock walked the halls while contractions came and went. “It was a combination of being relaxed and having had four babies before, that made it an easy time. It was knowing that ‘hot and heavy’ is a good labour sign, and not something to panic about. Labour is like nursing; experience tells us the present situation may be the baby is breastfeeding intensely, but this won’t persist forever, and fighting it doesn’t help,” said Sue. Their fifth baby nursed well, just born. “She seemed content and secure,” said her mother. Her birthing had been blissful, and they called her Blisse. <<<>>> Pierced Nipple by Melanie Fike, Lytton, British Columbia When I was young and foolish, I pierced my nipple. When my milk first came in, and for six months after, I leaked profusely from the piercing holes that never did close up.The holes are on either side of my nipple, so the milk would leak out of the holes before it got to the nipple ducts. During this extremely leaky time I carried a cloth with me wherever I went. I don’t wear a bra, so breastpads are not my thing. I got a breast infection when Sequoia was 18 months old. I’ve had them over and over again, always in the breast that’s pierced. Usually I just get a plugged duct, or sometimes two ducts plugged at the same time. Hot water packs, and taking it easy mentally and physically, does the trick within two days or so. Twice I had a bad infection, with redness, swelling and tenderness. Both times I took usnea tincture, a dropper full, four times a day and in two days it was gone. Usnea is a moss that hangs down off pine trees, <<<>>> Breastfeeding a Bottlefed Early Baby by Karin Harris, Calgary, Alberta I never liked the word ‘premature’, so I use Early. Much to my shock, my first born child came 5 1/2 weeks early. I was ambulated, in labour, to the teaching hospital where my child was born and ended up staying the next eight days in and out of an incubator. I was told I couldn’t nurse her, since she needed most of her energy for breathing. Luckily, I was coached on how to express my breastmilk, so at least my daughter received top-quality milk by bottle. When my daughter was at home, something began to happen. I no longer had enough milk for her. She was needed more than I could express. I was exhausted with pumping, preparing my milk for storage, and them warming it for the baby. How much easier it would be, just to nurse! I tried again, but by now we were entering her third week of life. Every attempt I made to put her to the breast, she would clamp her little mouth shut and twist her head from right to left. I was amazed at how someone so young, could have such strong willpower. I supplemented my milk with formula. One evening I had no breastmilk for the feeding, so I gave her a full bottle of straight formula. As soon as she was finished drinking she hurled the entire contents across the room. One swift projectile vomit and it was all out. That was the deciding moment. I vowed I would do everything I possibly could to convince my daughter to nurse. I took a slow, painful route, but my daughter adjusted. I fed her expressed breastmilk first, then I put her up against my breast when she wasn’t so hungry. Some say let the baby try nursing first, when most alert, but that didn’t work because she had grown to desire the bottle. So I let her fill her tummy, and when she was content, and perhaps just wanted to do a little suckling, then I’d put her to the breast. The first few times she just rested against my nipple with no sucking. Then I would begin the process of expressing again for the next feeding (it was like feeding triplets). Every night I cried and cried, because life was hard. I persevered, and my daughter began to take a few sucks. And a few more sucks; and then she’d nurse for two minutes. It went on like this for a week, until I felt ready to skip a feeding of expressed breastmilk, and let her breastfeed first. All of this might seem like overkill, but it was very important that my early baby continue to gain weight and get fluids. I think the whole process of weaning her off the bottle only lasted about three weeks, but it seemed like an eternity to me. Somewhere around four or five weeks, she began to nurse like a longtime trooper, often for an hour at a time. I was filled with joy. Throughout the entire conversion process I weighed my daughter from time to time. In the first two months, she gained 10 ounces a week. By the time she was two months old she was near the 50th percentile for full term babies. Now, seven years later, I am a third time mother and I never weight my third baby. But it was so important to me back then because Jule was early and I was switching feeding modes on her. We continued to nurse for just under a year. We had many beautiful evenings where we stayed in bed for an hour of nursing. I was so afraid about her eyesight, he health and her learning ability. At the age of four, her kindergarten teacher found her to have grade two reading ability and advanced logic. She was accepted into a school for gifted children but we ended up sending her to a French school so she could learn Canada’s two languages. Recently she attended the birth of my third child. I am glad God put Jule in our family. Perhaps this story can be my gift to another mother. <<<>>> //-- Reader Letters --// The magazines arrived today…can’t wait to share the “Mother” with my mainstream sisters. -Joanna Giannini, Omaha, Nebraska Start up my subscription again. I have missed all the great stories and positive voices. -Val Mount, Panama City Beach, Florida I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy after a pregnancy from HELL. He is worth every minute of it. -Cathryn Lee, Trumbull, Connecticut I am the retired LaLaeche leader grandmother. My daughter had a beautiful baby girl in April. Renew my subscription that I let lapse a couple of years ago. -Betty Harris, Clayton, North Carolina My life has been absolutely nuts for the last few months: two new needy foster children, -a broken computer, the earthquake, and my mother died. -Pamela A Golliet, Federal Way, Washington I have no friends here yet that are like-minded moms, so I could use The Mother right now. The hospital staff gave me dirty looks when they saw my son was intact and I told them he wasn’t vaccinated either. -Cassie McDaniel, Largo, Florida My sister who is 14, was at my homebirth, and I bet she’ll have one too. What a privilege to be influencing future moms/women/leaders. Enclosed is enough for someone who can’t afford a subscription. -Kathlyn McHugh, Ashcroft, British Columbia Thank you so much for being there during my pregnant, baby, breastfeeding, and (home and water) birthing days. And my death-of-marriage, and transitioning-to-single parent days. -Deborah Worch, Chicago, Illinois I am an aspiring midwife at the age of 44 who devoured “Mothers’ Favorites” in a few days. “The Mother” is a torchbearer and now many lights are flickering in the darkness of our uninformed world. Some may only be candles; others matches to light someone else’s torch; some may be growing to be the Olympic torch at the end of the run. The work will carry on in our hearts and lives. -Brenda Schenatzki, Tonasket, Washington Rejuvanate me for another two years of Mother. My daughter, Autumn, is exclusively breastfed, happy and strong. Send a two year subscription to my friend, too. She is due in October with her first. -Annie Thorstenson, Hot Springs, South Dakota I am a stay-at-home mother of a three year old and I’m five months pregnant with my second child. Breastfeeding has been the core of my relationship with my son and changed my world view radically. I received the first “Mother” from a fellow La Leche League Member. Thank you for your presence. -Leanne Ottenberger, Vancouver, British Columbia How refreshing to find a publication that does not promote bottle feeding, artificial baby milk, and articles on “how to leave your child with complete strangers while pursuing your career as soon as possible.” -Lori Parker-Gurule, Denver, Colorado Interesting, pleasurable reading. Send a bulk subscription. -Barb Strange, Edmonton, Alberta Maddie, who turns five in June, informed me she is well-behaved and weaned. That just leaves Sammy, two, on the breast. I cry for the awful, interceptive births and their long painful recoveries that so many women experience. I am determined to let everyone I know hear the truth about pitocin and formula. Let’s make this the last generation given this crap. -Leslie Cree, Glenside, Pennsylvania Finally, some truthful reading. Any back issues? -Janet Geschiere, Brights Grove, Ontario I loved reading the back issues you sent. I appreciate like-minded people like yourselves. I will send you some funny breastfeeding stories. -Julie Ketler, Lakeville, Massachusetts I can leave “Compleat Mother” laying around at work in hopes of others picking it up and getting a “shock.” -Dawn Hartfelder, Bound Brook, New Jersey May God Bless you and strengthen you as you proclaim truth about these important issues. Sarah Louise Rose, Modesto, California Victoria is cloth diapered, unvaccinated (until I can decide), exclusively breastfed, and has yet to use her crib other than a brief fine minute visit every few days to see her mobile. Oh, motherhood is pure bliss! I am grinning from ear to ear in happiness. The only positive messages I got throughout y whole pregnancy was from “The Mother.” But why must the issues be so short? I read it the minute it arrives and finish it before I even get up! Martha Luciani, Oakville, Ontario <<<>>> //-- Humor -- // A daughter broke-up with her boyfriend. She asked her Mother's advice about returning the gifts he'd given her. Without a pause, her Mother replied, "Send back the stuffed animals and letters, but keep the jewelry for sentimental reasons." **** Most Mothers are always amazed when their sons/daughters marry a person with much lower mental capacity, ambition and moral standards, yet still manage to have utterly brilliant children. **** Things Mom would never say: "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?" "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too" "Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house look more cheery" "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week" "Well,if Timmy's mom says it's OK,that's good enough for me." "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for.It's not like I'm running a prison around here." "I don't have a tissue with me...just use your sleeve" "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve" **** The Images of Mother: 4 Year of Age: My Mommy can do anything! 8 Year of Age: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 Year of Age: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 Year of Age: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either. 16 Year of Age: Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 Year of Age: That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 Year of Age: Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 Year of Age: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 45 Year of Age: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it? 65 Year of Age: Wish I could talk it over with Mom. <<<>>> The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. hen she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?" <<<>>> Please pass this newsletter on to your friends! Maybe they would like to subscribe to our print edtion which is published four times a year for $12 (cheap!): http://www.compleatmother.com/subscriptions.htm Thank you for allowing us into your email box! And please send this newsletter to your friends.
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