MOTHER POETRY - Breastfeeding, childbirth, and pregnancy online magazine: The Compleat Mother

Knowing

This morning
in the car
Scott asked
if Spring
would come.

"Eventually"
I said, though
now I wonder
what he meant.

Below the surface
of his question
a tender shoot
lies waiting.

Knowing and
not knowing,
tentative yet
trusting

Spring
comes,

pokes her
fragile
head up
from
the frozen
depths

to
bloom . . .

LBM 2/25/03

Blessings,
Lori McCray

HE and SHE
By Mandy Howard

He laid quietly, softly breathing, warm and safe.

He lay close enough to her to feel the warmth of her breath.

With his eyes closed he thought of her, and tried to understand her. She was like the whole world.

When he came from the darkness she was the only one he knew.

He recognized her smell, and her voice, and even the way she moved, he was safe with her. She was always nearby, all he ever had to do was call, and she would come, she would hold him close, and kiss him she would make the world feel right.

She rarely went away, for very long, and always came back, so glad to see him.

He lay there quietly and she was so close just the way he liked it. She began to roll away, he called for her, and she smiled.

She rolled back and kissed his forehead softly, "I'll be right back," she promised.

He laid and watched for her return, after a moment he got frightened and almost called for her. Then she returned, and leaned over him, She again kissed his forehead, and smiling she whispered, "It's ok baby boy, Mommy is
here, and she loves you"

He wanted to answer, to tell her his feeling, but he couldn't make himself
understood. He softly curled the corners of his lips and smiled as he struggled for the words. He wanted to make them as sweet and soft as her words, but all that came out was a tiny noise that meant nothing. He wanted to cry out; no matter how he tried he couldn't tell her his feelings.

How would she ever know how he loved her, he tried once more in vain to make the words come out. It was only then that he noticed her smile, at each soft noise he failed to make into a word and each tiny smile he gave her she smiled.

His heart grew warm, and he slowly drifted off to sleep knowing that she
knew what he meant.

�Beyond Skin Deep�

As a snake is bound to slither
Every rose will some day whither
But take away foolish pride
And look way down deep inside
It�s where the greater meaning lies
I�m after no trophy, looking for no prize
They say beauty is only skin deep
But I believe this analogy is cheap
When I look deep within you
Your colors really shine through
An unimaginable beauty lies there
And it is for this that I care
As a snake is bound to slither
Every rose will some day whither
I pay no attention to that which is shallow
Only to that which lies below
Because when we are old and gray
I�ll still love you then as I do today
You�re outer beauty may have faded then
It all does, it�s just a matter of when
But it won�t mean a thing to me
In true love we�ll always be
If you happen to find me attractive
I should hope it�s for as long as I live
Because as a snake is bound to slither
Every rose will some day whither
And on that day when we�re old and gray
I�ll still love you then as I do today

Scott M. Lindberg
February 16, 2001
Email: [email protected]

My Cesarean Poem

I had a cesarean
I didn't want one
I wanted a baby
All wet and messy
Plopped onto my bare chest
To comfort in his first moment
By the stroke of my hand
And a nuzzle at my breast

I had a cesarean
All betadine and beeping machines
And anonymous blue masks
Seeing my insides
And me- numb to my toes
With no feeling

Except heartbreak

My plans
And my dreams
Were betrayed
By the orange label
Attached to my chart
Code for "high risk"

I didn't feel high risk
I hated that label

Who are these people
Did you start?
I'm here! I'm here! Why is
No one talking to me?
I hear my baby cry, my baby cry
But can't see MY BABY
My baby, my baby, someone bring me
My baby
No answers
No explanation
I am alone
Except for the blue masks
Putting my insides back in.

He was brought to me
Already clean and wrapped
And frantic
I couldn't even hold him
I'm sure it is not what he expected
Either.

Then the blood
Then the pain
My belly no longer full of baby
Grew distended with air

"It doesn't matter now" Woman #1 said
"I had three cesareans, they are no big deal" bitch #2 said
"Your sister sprang right back" My mother said
(My sister was 19)

I have flashbacks
Like a war vet
And a sadness that
No one wants to hear about
And pain.

I does matter
It is a big deal
It is a mourning
I had a cesarean
I didn't want one.

~Barbara Stratton

I was born of a young mother
Only 16 years of age
She was like not other
Overflowing with courage

She chose not to take
The shortest or easiest road
For my good and my sake
Alone she carried the load

She easily could have decided
That she should go and abort
Instead she had confided
And didn't settle or resort

Thanks to my young mother
I get the chance to exist
She was like no other
My life took a twist

She gave me up for adoption
Doing what was best for me
Thank you for choosing this option
Giving me a chance to be happy

If I Knew

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I
would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I get to see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up to praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming that you KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, instead of thinking, "Oh, well, I'm sure we'll have so many more, so I can let this one slip away."

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything all right. There will always be another day to say " I love you," and certainly there's always another chance.

But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like
to say how much I love you and hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is never promised to anyone, young or old alike, and today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So, if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day that you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or kiss, and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their last wish.

So, hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear. Tell
them how much you love them, and that you'll always hold them dear. Take the time to say " I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you," or "it's ok." And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

Author Unknown

Lara's Birth (for Patty, my stepmother)
by Shannon Mitchell

Sometimes our footsteps lead us
where we never thought we'd go...
Sometimes experiences left behind us
are ones God chooses to show...
As we get older and think
that everything has been seen...
Our Lord allows a miracle to show us
we don't know anything...

Sometimes the deepest agony
can bring the greatest joy...
Sometimes the journey is arduous
that takes us where we need to go...
At times we may wonder
was it really worth the wait?
But love is the greatest outcome
And Love never comes too late...
So sometimes when you may wonder
if all the patience is worthwhile...
There is nothing more rewarding
Than a Newborn Baby's Smile.

For Meghan
by Stacy Duhon

Bright light!
it hurts my eyes as large hands pull me
from the warm, soft place that held me
for too short a time and
I scream for mommy...
warm place again but not soft,
still bright
where are you?
I feel you.
I feel you thinking of me in a half-dream.
I know you are out there
and
I
will
wait
because what choice do I have?
Mommy!
You�re here.
you sit beside me and touch me,
sometimes you hold me
but
I
want to be with you
all the time.
I will fight.
I will win.
I will go home with you.
One day soon these people that
keep me here will
tell you that I am strong enough
and big enough
and I will be with you in the dark,
not in this too-bright light.
you will fight, too, mommy because
you love me
you love me enough
to
wait
for
me
and I will claim my right
to nurse, mommy.
Just give me time because
I love you
I need the warmth
of your breast,
to hear your big heart beat
next to my little heart.
I need you
as much as you need me,
mommy.
I am
tiny now
frail now
but
I am brave.
I am strong.
I will win.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So new
by Janis Chrissikos

I�ve waited for you my whole life
and finally you are here.

What wonders you contain within,
child of mine most dear.

Your soft skin and yet softer hair,
tiny fist and big blue eyes.

Sweet baby scent and sweet, sweet smile
with little dimpled thighs.

You cuddle close and gently nurse
while sleep makes your eyes close.

So new and just beginning,
as so unfurls a rose.

Nine Months
by Janis Chrissikos

For nine months I cradle you within
and wonder.

Nine months before I can hold my heart
in my arms.

Nine months for you to arrive but I�ve known you
forever.

Nine months creep along yet race by
while I wait.

After nine months you are here and my life
starts anew.

The world has changed immeasurably and it only took
nine months.

What�s for dinner?
by Janis Chrissikos

I watch my daughters play and can�t help but smile.
They giggle, full of silliness, like only the very young.

I join them on the floor and let dinner wait awhile.
Bellies ought to be tickled and songs should be sung.

Forget cooking dinner, daddy can get take-out.
Instead let�s play chase and then hide-and seek.

My children remind me what childhood�s about,
as they run and play and laugh and shriek.

Nursing a Toddler
by Janis Chrissikos

Sticky little chubby hands pull my shirt,
clearly it�s time to nurse.

Now I have blue yogurt on my white bra,
I know it could be worse!

She�s too busy for cuddles and kisses,
we nurse to keep us in touch.

She wants to be big like her big sister,
sometimes its just too much.

So up on Mama�s lap she climbs again,
for comfort and a snack.

I hold her close, sweet and soft as she rests,
glad my baby is back.

I watch as she acts so independent,
but nursing reminds me.

Not to hurry her to grow up too fast,
for time will still find me.

Friends try not to act surprised but all say,
�When will she ever wean?�

I smile, �Well, I guess when she has classes,
she can nurse in between!�

Raw
By Janis Chrissikos

You left me raw with emotion, shaken to my depths.
Less than seven pounds yet full of power .

I know I will never be the same and wonder,
�What will I be, then?�

Life changing, yes, but I struggle to find my path,
my place in the eternal circle of women.

A year goes by before I know my strength,
a birth within a birth.

I am to be reminded of my own power, stronger still.
Forged in the flames again.

As the years press onward
She grows ever closer to me
A wonderful connection
Like the sand is to the sea.

On the Path to the Dream

On
the
path
to
the
dream

you
will
uncover
many
treasures

and
encounter
stubborn
obstacles

which
may
spring
up
when
you
least
expect
it

and
when
you
trip
on
roots
and
rocks

and
rub
the
skin
raw
off
your
shin

do
remember,
while
you're
sitting

(perhaps
sorry for
your self)

to touch
the cool
green
fuzz of
moss

and see
the
dazzling
sun
dancing

and hear
the
glorious
song of
birds,
as they
call to
one
another

and when
you've
rested
you'll
continue,

with love
and
beauty
as
your
companions,

while
wisdom
waits

with
patient
trust

in
your
arrival . . .

LBM 12/25/01

Mother's Poetry