My experience is what led my interest in midwifery and I have since been doing a lot of research.  My birth was a hospital birth, and it is also my first.  I labored for over 18 hours, the nurse who admitted me was very condescending and judgmental in her attitude toward me.  I was very scared and did not feel prepared for the pain (my prepared childbirth class spent 15 minutes on breathing patterns.)  I opted for an epidural.  

The anesthesiologist injected an epidural dose into my spinal area completely paralyzing me.  He had to stand at the head of my bed and bag me for 30 minutes because I could not breathe.  I honestly thought that I was going to die.  When the meds finally wore off I had dilated from 5 -9 (the only positive I can find in that situation) After another 45 minutes I was ready to push and after an hour I delivered a beautiful baby girl who was ripped from my arms and sent to the NICU for 24 hours for TTN.  I am still struggling with this experience and it still depresses me to think about it.  I some how feel I failed in what should have been a natural part of
life.

~Ashley
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