reader opinion...


My Husband Calls Me �The Stephen King of Birth��

By Jill McDanal

Because I scare the living hell out of people.  I have had an unassisted homebirth, and plan on doing it again!  Scary?  I don�t think so.  Sit back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, �Do I really want to read this?�  I will warn you, this is not for the �mainstreamers� who have stumbled upon this site out of curiosity.  This is very much bashing the medical establishment (doctors, nurses, and medwives) in general for stealing birth away from the women it belongs to.  This was written for ME and for the thousands of women out there like me, but who are too afraid of the repercussions of what they say, in the form of snubs from doctors, nurses, friends, and family.  I have been told by many in the mainstream that I am opinionated (really?), uneducated (got a bachelor�s degree, am a medical researcher, certified childbirth educator, professional labor assistant, wife, mom of three ages 2, 3, and 5 unassisted birther and I am published author - pretty impressive, huh?)  I have been told I should censor my cussy mouth (from the South, remember?) and I can�t appreciate others opinions (which is true ONLY if you are into bashing mine.)  So with that said, if any of this bothers you, better hit your back button NOW!

Okay, you stayed � very brave of you indeed.  You are probably wondering �What started her down this path?�  Well my friend, my fist birth was a nightmarish experience, and I got mad.  I am sick and tired of seeing women suffer because somebody (usually a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL) knows better than they do.  I don�t write to appease the gods of the medical establishment and I don�t try to �reason � with them, no reasoning with that bunch � just give them a study with contrived �scientific facts�, forget common sense, and see what they come up with.  Bullshit mostly.  Take a look at their recommendations for VBAC.  They want those mothers to be in hospitals, babe with INTERNAL monitor, they need to palpate the scar, and moms need epidurals, just in case.  Not to mention they want to blow these babes out untimely with drugs like CYTOTEC � good Lord, don�t get me started on Cytotec � it is a derivation from pig semen (or so I hear tell) and it is CONTRAINDICATED in pregnant women.  Searle, the manufacturer of it has a boxed WARNING at the beginning of the listing in the PDR telling ob�s NOT to use it in pregnant women � it CAUSES uterine rupture. (Good reason to stay safe at home, they can�t get you there!)  I am so damn sick and tired of a doctor thinking he knows better than God!!!!  Babies know when they are supposed to be born.  It is not like they have this little calendar when they are conceived and the sperm and egg get together and say � �40 weeks, that will be on Thursday, January 10 at 10:02 pm, well, that is when we will get born�  Give me a break!

I am sick and tired of listening to women who have been butchered time and time again sitting around giving everyone the �poor me�, my doctor says�, the nurses say�, my husband says�, my friends say��  with all due respect � BULLSHIT � If, for some reason, you feel violated, raped, abused, or cut up like a Thanksgiving Day turkey, and you find yourself heading down that path again, the answer is EASY, Leave.  Run!!! Don�t walk!  Don�t pass Go!  Don�t collect $200!   Do NOT do it again.  Once is too much for anyone to feel that they have been cast on the �mercy� of the gods of modern medicine.  Ladies, take responsibility for your body and your babe and your birth!!!!!!  It matters not what others think of your choices, you are the one who will ultimately have to live with the outcome (and just maybe, the consequences) of your decision.

In this past week I read what a nurse (LPN and MAN for that matter) wrote on a board�.they (meaning the docs) will play the �dead baby card��  Well, pardon me, what woman, in her right mind, WANTS to have a dead babe?  No one I know.  I can say that a woman is MORE likely to have an interventive birth and a dead or injured babe if she CHOOSES (yes, chooses, you always have a choice) to have her babe at a hospital surrounded by all the lifesaving �rescue� equipment!  Forceps, vacuum extractor, scissors (for episiotomy), oxygen masks, epidural kits,  Pitocin, Cytotec, and the like, as well as a whole host of other available drugs that are used on unsuspecting women to �ease the pain� and �take your mind off it (the labor)�  Yep, it does exactly that, blows your mind, so you don�t give a good damn whether or not they rip your babe out of your womb, crush its skull or give it a nice birth injury like Cerebral Palsy!

Nurses � in my experience (my own births, births I have attended, and the birth stories I read), for every one good nurse, there are 5 bad.  If you choose, (yes choose) to birth in a hospital � watch out!  You are swimming in shark - infested waters!  During my course as a medical researcher and being on line, not to mention those pesky mainstream �support groups� for the medical way of birth, I have gotten my share of hate email � stemming mostly of my knowledge and RESEARCH supporting UNASSITED HOMEBIRTH as a valid, SAFE option for �normal� women.  If I appear opinionated to these people, it is because I cannot tolerate them insisting that they �know� what is best for me, and / or other women as well.   They think that because they have �experience� in labor and delivery (delivery, the only thing I want to be delivered from is Satan.   Could Satan and the medicos be one and the same?) - that makes them �experts� in birth.  Well, to birth -  I don�t need their drugs!  I don�t need their monitoring!  I don�t need them charting input/outflow!  (covering their ass is probably a far more appropriate term) I don�t need their poking, prying, hurting fingers to �examine� my cervix!  I don�t need to be told to PUSH!   I don�t need them �playing the dead baby card� to get their way! I just plain don�t need them!  I was at a birth recently here at the local baby mill.  Our nurse, sweet girl, no kids though and she is working in L&D � whatever!    She had NEVER in her 5 years working there seen a totally unmedicated, uncomplicated birth!  Amazing!  Yet she, and the asshole doctor on call (at the baby mill you RARELY get your doc, unless you can do it on his time frame) know more about BIRTH than I DO?!!?!!  I think not.  This mom, said, NEVER AGAIN.  She means it.  I am glad it only took her once!

I have had to defend my position on unassisted birthing because of these �experts�.  My body knows what to do.  It was / is not a decision we made lightly.  You must know how comfortable you are with the TOTAL responsibility of the birth.  For me, it meant coming to terms with the worst �what ifs� � like what if the babe needs help?  What if it is dead?  What if I die?  What if I can�t do it?  What if the babe is too big?  What if� What if�  I had to do my dead level best to deal with the what went wrong in my first birth and my second one as well.  My husband and I are much better for having taken the leap of faith in my body and in God.  We have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, I can do it and other women can too, if only they would listen to themselves.  If only they would not fear it.  If only�.

Men � Bless their souls � they have no business at births unless they can keep their mouths shut, do what they are told, and be 100% supportive of their partner�s decision to birth in the way she feels fit.  Notice I said birth.  Not delivery!  There are very few men who belong at birth.    Supportive husbands belong there.  Mine was great during my births especially at the birth of Noah, our third.  But men have absolutely no business being intruders in birth.  It is a shameful disgrace!  Most ob�s here are men.  I get so tired of watching them cut moms (ignoring her requests not to), pull on babes� heads, cut cords while they are still going, sneaking a shot of pit to mom or Vitamin K to the newborn, using forceps when they are not needed, arguing in front of a laboring woman about her �course of treatment� (whether to section her or forceps), wisking the babe away to the concentration camp (nursery), okaying moms for sex, six weeks post partum (hey, if you want to great, if not, well, the doc has just given his blessing, and hubby has been soooo patient) � I am just sick of men claiming BIRTH for themselves.  It is a disgrace to every woman for a doctor to take �credit� for the safety of her babe.  BULLSHIT � again!  The woman is SOLEY and EXCLUSIVELY responsible for nourishing and growing that babe, how dare the doctor take credit?  And then, to make it easy for her, here is some crap in a can �scientifically formulated to give your baby what he needs��  Just wondering � how can you �scientifically formulate� a mother�s arms, heart, breasts and milk?  It can�t be done!

Trust your instincts.  Sit and listen to what your heart is saying, forget the rest.  By still calm waters.  That is how intuition comes.

I hope that this finds the ears that need to hear it and speaks to hearts.  Ladies, you can do it!  Stay out of hospitals!  Let horror stories fall on deaf ears!  Reclaim your body and your birth!  I hope!  I hope!

�It is a powerful thing, Hope.� � Stephen King The Shawshank Redemption



Jill McDanal


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