Pooh On Bottles
Little Pooh needed something.
"Darling Little Bear," said Winnie, who was a new sort of mother.
"Does he need a bottle?" asked all Rabbit's Friends and Relations.
"I am a bear of very large brain," said Mother Winnie. "I would never
give my darling infant Little Bear the much processed, denatured enzymes of cows, designed
to make little creatures grow fast in body but slow in mental capacity."
"Formula, I suppose," said Eeyore, sadly.
"No Soy," said Winnie.
"I haven't been called Sir before" said Eeyore, brightening just a little.
"I didn't mean to call you that," said Winnie.
"Just a mistake, I suppose," grumbled Eeyore.
"No Soy for the Darling Little Bear, No Sir," said Winnie. "The grossly
excessive aluminum content in tins (of formula made from soybeans) can collect in the
growing brain, perhaps causing such tragedy as Alzheimers Disease. I read about it in The
Compleat Mother."
Little Pooh pushed up on his mother's red jersey, rooted at her soft
warm breast, and latched on eagerly.
"Aaaaaah," said Little Pooh.
"Aaaaaah," all Rabbits Friends and Relations sighed.
"The Compleat Mother, Yes Sir!" said Eeyore, and he smiled for the very
first time.
